Just need to start

For a long time now I have wanted a place to be able to write and share the many thoughts and experiences I have swimming around in my head. My husband, Randy, created this blog spot for me. Now I don't know where to start. I keep putting it off because I think I need to begin with something amazing. I decided today that I just need to start. I know the thoughts will come if I do. While I am writing this I am wondering if Brigham is okay. I better go check on him... I am back. I am glad I went to check. He was outside in the back yard stuck on his trike. He had somehow got caught down low by the back wheels and couldn't move one way or the other to get free. He was calling out to me and just waiting patiently for me to come help him. How hard it must be to be 13 years old and so dependent on other people to help you through each day. He is losing more and more of the basic abilities he once had. I am reminded of the times that I had to fill out evaluation tests for Brig at school. It was difficult to mark page after page abilities that my son could not do. It was depressing and just another huge reminder of my sons situation. At the same time, I know I learned to appreciate all the simple things that most people just take for granted. In his first years of school Brigham was able to get out of the car and run into the school by himself. I remember specifically one day, when I was dropping him off, I was overcome with emotion as I watched him run into school. I was so grateful that he could run. I must have somehow known that day that it wouldn't last. I remember wondering if all these other mothers who were dropping off their children recognized their many simple blessings. Brigham doesn't run anymore however he still is fighting to walk. I know it is important to focus on the blessings of all the things he still can do. Today it is an honor for us to be able to do for him all the things that I am sure he wishes he could do for himself.